Bedroom Thoughts

Funny ole world

2007-02-13T19:41:00.000Z

I thought I had deleted these blogs and then something jumps up and grabs your attention. I'm not sure I am back - just popping in.

Life has its way of dealing all sorts of hands. I don't want too speak too soon but it is the day before Valentines Day and I am on a nice crest of a wave. Feeling like I haven't felt for a long time which is more than welcome. Feeling desires and wants which have been obliterated for too long. It's a great feeling.

Talking Dirty

2005-10-22T13:02:00.000+01:00

Do you remember the scene from A Fish Called Wanda when Jamie Lee Curtis is getting off with someone (was it John Cleese or Kevin CLine?) and she wants him to talk dirty. Her passion is for Italian so he says words from a typical Italian menu in a very sexy way. It does the trick.

I too find that some words can be so much hotter than explicit sexual references, though there is a place for them as well! I am talking about the warm-up stages that get the juices flowing.

My hubby could be a double glazing window salesman and running through the technical names of the plastics or various widgets and it does it for me. Anything technical and more than a few syllables. For example, PVC is poly vinyl chloride and when said slowly it rolls off the tongue and licks about you almost like a troupe of excessively handsome French men purring round and stroking my body.

Chemical terms are also good but DeoxyriboNucleic Acid (DNA) no longer does it for me. I reckon because it is in too much use and not such a mystery to me anymore. Yet poly vinyl chloride does not sound like the humble PVC. Try saying any of these slowly and seductively: Cyclodextrin glycosyltransferase, dehydrosphingosine, aspartic transcarbamolyase and see if it warms up your loins?

Maybe those are a bit hard to get your mouth round and maybe that is part of the skill. If you can get your mouth smoothly round them then what else can you get your mouth smoothly round? Oh, the possibilities are just delightful.

Silence is golden!

2005-09-24T00:40:00.000+01:00

It's funny peculiar how we go through stages of wanting to talk and other times just keeping schtumm. That doesn't mean or indicate anything, just an observation.

I think I am warming up to talk again and just might.

There has been lots going on and everyone is well and happy.

Peace.

My first film review!

2005-07-04T00:57:00.000+01:00

Being a woman with intent I have now had the pleasure to review my first sex film. I think I struck lucky to go for this particular one and am more than delighted to share my thoughts on it. And probably would have anyway had I seen it.

As I know this isn't my last review I've decided to pop these on a blog of their own.

Angie's Reviews

Oh what fun ;-)

I wanna be a porn reviewer

2005-06-30T16:17:00.000+01:00

It was our friend's 40th birthday. I was stuck considering what to get him as a little gift and then I thought of the pile of porn DVDs we have. It seemed awful to give what is in effect second hand DVDs but once watched they just aren't the same! Unless they are the good old familiars but there aren't any either of us are attached to and it has been simply ages since I watched any though I know hubby keeps up to date late at night on his own!

Hubby helped me pick out about 10 DVDs to look through. First of all, I tried watching them on my computer, with the sound down low, but the kids kept coming into the room. It was a Saturday after all.

So I took the lap-top up to my bedroom but again the sound was just not right as I didn't want the kids to hear the grunting and groaning that I felt must have been massively loud but probably wasn't really. In the end it took hubby to suggest using earphones! Doh! And so my career as a wanna-be porn reviewer began.

I wanted to choose a few DVDs that hit the spot for him but that might also appeal to his wife. I had award winning artisitic porn to choose from and I have to say it was so boring. I remember watching this particular artistic enterprise a few years ago with hubby and was not too impressed then and I still wasn't.

There is a genre of DVDs which are a bit like kids interactive games except that when you click on this or that you get different clips of films that pretty much get to the point. This would have been great if I liked all the clips but as some went into very diverse areas of interest it was just too much.

Ron Jeremy was up to his usual tricks and I find him quite repulsive. Nothing sexy there. The British Ben Dover had some amateurish but quite delightful numbers that particularly impressed me. We know that any story line in a porno is purely to set up the participants for sexual encounters and to get the deed done. We know! And to remove all story lines is tedious. A bit like a train being at full speed and not being able to get on - all you can do is watch it rush past in great speed and say oh well. And then they go the other way and have such contrived storylines it is so dull and boring. These storylines were still obviously contrived but they were fun and plausible and drew you in and turned you on.

So there I am one Saturday, life is rushing round, and I'm holed up in my bedroom plugged into porno on my laptop and me knickers round my knees and a rosy glow on my face. Yup, that DVD would do as one of the prezzies!

One of the funniest DVDs was Japanese. No English subtitles. An orchestra played naked. In one clip a guy teaches a kettle drum player to get the right rythym by having her blindfolded and tap out the beat on the kettle drum using his dick which had been pixellated out because of the Japanese censorship laws. Oh lordie that was so funny and so un-erotic. Well for me anyway. And I suppose that is the key really. What suits one may not suit the other.

It was so much fun choosing those DVDs that I wouldn't mind having to endure all that again - and writing proper reviews. It was some months ago so I know I wouldn't do it justice writing from memory but the next time I watch some ..... I know I have somewhere to write a review ;)

Teaching our boys

2005-06-27T20:52:00.000+01:00

After my recent posts and the following comments I have realised that I have an 11 year old son with whom I have not talked with about the finer details of life. He is still a young sort but I am incredibly proud of him because of the way he is so self-assured whilst retaining a sensitivity and best of all he has a great attitude to girls. He can be a boy's boy and then easily be a best friend for girls and stands up for them when boys go "Ewwww, it's girls, yuck".

I remember when I talked over periods and stuff with my daughter it was not easy. She is nearly 16 now and we seemed to have coped. With my son being the carefree sort I am afraid that I have been coy over the years, especially when the sanitary towel adverts came on the TV. He'd asked "what's that for" and I'd say something along along the lines of it being a type of tissues. I fudged it quite frankly.

Although other things in our life are more rounded I really have hidden from broaching these things with him. But now something has happened to me. I think it is from just writing these few entries in my blog, by talking about it, by thinking things over more specifically and by discussing these issues more with hubby that I felt empowered. And so I did. We sat down for a over an hour and started working through "how a woman works" and then "how a man works". I have in mind to talk more about hygeine and relationships but there is only so much which he and I can take in one sitting.

But I have to say, it went really well. I was surprised how well we were both able to talk about these things. I knew he had done some stuff in school about male adolescence. He said he didn't remember doing anything about females.

We had time and no interruptions. We talked periods and hormones and even the shape of the female body using a combinations of my drawings and a biology book. We talked about feelings and nice stuff about the clitoris and the shape of the female organs and how, with the lips, it looks like a lily or a tropical flower. We talked about understanding and giving women space and privacy when wanted, and about PMT, comparing various women and girls my son knew.

We talked about the penis and how the pipes work cutting off urine when it is erect. I realised I didn't know what controlled the hormones in a man, in the way the pituatary gland did in a women and so we are going to look that up. We didn't get as far as talking about reproduction, or sensuality for men or for between men and women, and we'll come back to that another time. We did enough in one go and I was surprised neither of us were needing to rush off in embarrassment.

My son made it easy because he was interested and asked questions. Neither of us felt the need to smirk until he did when I got to talking about the various names of the scrotum. I was surprised about how easily I was able to talk about periods to my son. In a way, I think it was easier to talk to him about it than it was to talk about it with my daughter a couple of years before his age.

He doesn't look mentally scarred as a result and I can not believe how it good it all feels. I think it is partly about me realising that my son was ready to know and should know about these things. There is still more for us to discuss but it is a good start.

This afternoon I went with him to the Public Library to get some reading books. I thought I might take the opportunity to get some books on the body and found it interesting. There were two books on the shelf on reproduction. One had pictures that jump from a nice couple smiling at each other to the egg and sperm fertilizing. A huge number of unanswered questions. On the same shelf were four books on drug abuse. Very worthy and I do not wish to take away from them but it did bother me that kids could not see pictures of the human body in more detail and yet had graphic detail of a number of "shooting up" scenes including one of a woman with a hyperdermic up a bulging neck vein (or blood vesel).

The games kids play

2005-06-23T16:51:00.000+01:00

There is so much to spawn off from the previous posts...

When my daughter was 5 years old she and my friend's son of the same age used to rush off to the bathroom together whenever we visited and get up to mischief. Some items of clothing used to come off and on the whole I actually wasn't bothered. When my friend realised he was very concerned and put a stop to it which I thought was a pity as they were only young and just discovering.

I remember when I was about eleven and twelve and I used to enjoy all sorts of play with the local kids, especially the boys. Although we essentially stayed clothed there were a lot of thrills to be had when we were caught and "imprisoned" or our bodies brushed together as someone held you up against a wall.

Those were great feelings but I don't for one minute think it should have gone any further for me at that time because that was enough. (So let's be clear, I am talking about consensual play here and not anything abusive.)

I used to be dead scared any adults would find out, and worse still, a long lost cousin of mine who was also female, we used to play some interesting variations on doctor and nurses. Just the two of us and although I would dearly love to find her there is a small part of me that is vaguely embarrassed. (It wouldn't hold me back from finding her if I could, but it is still there.)

Thinking to some of the children I have worked with in a school enviroment there was a 4 year old boy who could get an impressive erection and seemed to have some idea of what to do with it. That was very disconcerting, and in any case, a school is not a great environment to experiment in and there were questions over his home life. We used to work hard to keep him occupied and out of the bathroom!

It's a difficult one. There are these urges that children have and whilst it is "hidden" we can turn a blind eye and if it isn't then we have to disapprove. No wonder we have such mixed messages about sexual feelings.

Sex Education

2005-06-22T08:18:00.000+01:00

I remember my own. At secondary school a rather embarrassed male biology teacher fumbled his way through showing us packets of condoms and a cap and talking about the basic mechanics of penetrative sex. My mother used to make stupid and untrue lewd suggestions about me behind the bicycle shed and that was about it. The rest was from the mags under my brother's bed.

Sex Ed is something that happens here in UK schools anywhere from age 9 to about 12 years old, unless you write a letter to have your child excluded. I know they are trying to get it better with more about love but I think there is something wrong about the whole concept.

Children need to learn when they are ready to learn and I don't think it is a sit-down 'right we are going to learn about sex today' sort of subject. Surely it should be a gradual process? Just as we learn our ABCs and then further down the line we learn words and then sentences and then sentence structure the finer details of grammar and so on. The same way, sex should be a normal part of our growing lives but only starting off with the basics.

That does happen to some extent with little kiddie books that do sex education and they talk about 'special hugs' and don't go into detail. We get to sex ed at school and then it stops. We don't go beyond the basic mechanics.

I think the whole timeline and progression for learning sex is stuck in this rut and needs a fresh approach. It should not be left to the schools alone but I know as a parent what it is like to handle the subject, and as a child I remember what it was like.

Isn't this about our whole society being screwed up and unable to integrate sex into our normal lives? I'm mixed up myself and don't have any answers. I was very interested to read the comments on the previous post: "Oral sex isn't sex?". Hierodule_of_Baphomet said:

Although our society is bombarded by the mass media with sexual imagery, we're not 'allowed' to actually have sex - especially not young people.

This is so true. We have all these mixed messages going on. Little girls are given sexy little clothes to wear and yet if they were found experimenting with other little boys or girls there would be a great upset. Anon said

These kids are taught that they need to be virgins and they will do anything to stay a virgin so they can be "good"...

And here we have it. It is all about being good, but not in a true sense but in a way that as long as we appear to be good will do and any sexual thoughts become "bad".

Oral sex isn't sex?

2005-06-21T08:35:00.000+01:00

Wasn't it Bill Cllinton who protested that oral sex wasn't really sex?

On www.health24.com they say what I have heard elsewhere that oral sex is not considered the same as "doing it" and is especially popular with young people because of that and the belief that you won't get STDs and of course you won't get pregnant.

I am so baffled by this logic especially by young people.

First of all, with young people, I admire the way they are not hung up about oral sex and that they are so easy going about it. They should be applauded for that side of it.

How this most intimate of acts can be thought of as not the real thing. As sex. I have known oral sex to be more real than penetrative sex so I really do not understand this.

How can anyone think you are safer from Aids or other diseases with oral sex. What happened to people's brain cells that they think contact of penis on vagina should be any more harmful than mouth on sexual area? Would I be cynical in suggesting that this is just one huge smokescreen and we are not really talking about mutual oral sex but just fellatio? Is this really a device convenient to boys and perpetrated by them and then taken out of proportion as if both male and female young people equally preferred oral sex.

Have the generations changed so much that our young men are now working hard at pleasing their young women with oral sex? If so, fantastic!

I don't know, but I have a problem with the logic given about oral sex.

Or is it just an excuse and nothing more to pretend you are not having sex when you are?

How often do we really have sex?

2005-06-20T16:11:00.000+01:00

We never really want to say in case our identity is known, but you can post anonymously if you want to share!

If you are a bloke in the street then you'd brag it was x + 3 times per week and if you are a woman you might blush and still not give a clear answer, or if you are a ladette then you might brag the same as the lads!

When times are good I'd say we can be having full blown sex 3 times over a 36 hour period and then once in the next week and then nothing for a month. Other times it would be once a month.

If I was still with my previous long term partner, when we were both younger, then it would be every day if he had his way but I only ever wanted it every two days.

There was a time when I was a right horny thing. There should be some men out there with some nice memories but I never orgasmed and they never really thought to ask or make sure I was fulfilled.

I'm a bit older and less energetic now, but I have the most toe curlingly brilliant orgasms that last me (that is down to hubby's skill and certain positions but that's for another time) so maybe that is why it is less frequent these days?

PS. I am going to find one of those poll things to put in here and will keep coming back to discuss any comments.

Dildos in the Bible!

2005-06-20T14:30:00.000+01:00

One of my favourite websites for some years has been the The Illustrated Book of Sexual Records. It is eye opening and a bit gobsmacking in places.

One thing they didn't need to tell me was this passage in Ezekiel XVI: 17 in warning against all manner of sexual practises including the use of dildos:

Thou hast also taken thy fair jewels of my gold and of my silver, which I had given thee, and madest to thyself images of men, and didst commit whoredom with them

Wow, they sound like some amazing objects made of gold and silver. Imagine the whorehouse of that day: "...and what would sir prefer today? Our lovely silver model or for three shekels extra you can have the gold?"

And what did they use for lube?! Olive oil and honey?

The TV Sex Progs

2005-06-20T14:19:00.000+01:00

I like watching channel 4 and 5 (in the UK) for the wide range of programes on the subject of sex. I'm not sure which is my favourite, if any, but there are bits I like from all of them. What I don't like is when they cover items for titilation sake (and not doing a good job of that) or don't discuss the issues properly.

Most of all I don't like it when they put on silly regional accents when a foreign language speaker is dubbed over. That is really insulting and makes a mockery of the contributors.

Against my will

2005-06-20T13:31:00.000+01:00

When I was 16, footloose and fancy free and most of all, as innocent as the driven snow, I went on holiday by myself to the Isles of Scotland. I probably have my notebook somewhere from those days - many years ago. I didn't have much money nor many friends as I was re-building my life after my childhood, so I was holidaying on my own. It was great. So much fun.

No one to tell me what to do or where to go. I had freedom. I was from the city and here I was in the great outdoors. On one of the islands, was an old fisherman type character collecting cockles from the shore. It was a picture as I looked over the shore and there was this man complete with arran jumper and almost the Captain Birdseye about him!

We got chatting as I'm that kind of a person. He turned out to be a retired bus driver from Bradford which was not the poetic past I had imagined he would have, but never mind. He seemed harmless enough. His wife had died he told me, and then invited me to dinner at his place. Always the one to meet the locals I agreed.

The due time for dinner arrived and I went to his house. Dinner was mildly unpleasant and lukewarm but that's life. He said he wanted to redecorate but without a woman's touch, he missed his wife, he wasn't sure what to do and asked if he could show me around so that I could make suggestions. This was in the days before design programmes. What did I know about design but never mind, I'm just a nosy person at times and I might just be able to help.

I did not expect what happened in the loft bedroom. He invited me to sit on the bed as we discussed decorations. I was a little uncomfortable but nothing more and so did as suggested.... the next thing, this old toothless man has thrust himself at me locking his lips on mine with his tongue pushed in my mouth, at some point muttering his dead wife's name and telling me to "relax". The shock. The horror. The revoltion. I was still the stronger person and managed to push him off me and then began my career of extreme diplomacy.

Somehow I managed to diffuse the situation, calm him down, and then beat a rapid but safe exit.

I was due to stay on that island a few more days. The next day I hastily left but not before I had spent that night sobbing my heart out. I couldn't believe I had been so stupid. I couldn't believe that he dared to take advantage of such a young girl. And all I could hear was him saying "relax, relax". I can remember that night clearly - it was decades ago.

That night I thought my entire life would be devastated by what happened. Technically, that could be construed as my first kiss but I don't and never thought of it as such. That wasn't a kiss; an act of joy between two consenting people. That was an attack.

That old man's karma will deal with him and I'm afraid I can't look fish fingers in the eye! I learned a lot that night.

Amazingly that event didn't devastate me. I went on to have some very healthy encounters, and when I think of my first kiss I can go into raptures remembering that special moment.

In the beginning

2005-06-20T11:34:00.000+01:00

I feel like I am in an episode of Star Trek. That I am about to boldly go where no-one has gone before.... which is not quite true but I'm on a roll, and we know that nothing is ever new but each generation thinks it is new and their discovery.... I want to talk of sex and our sexual lives in an aceptable way, as a part of everyday life. Not for sexual gratification, though that is always great, but as part of an overall healthy and integrated outlook on life.

Too often we are prudish and scared to talk about anything sex related and so we have to bury those thoughts which can become fears and even dysfunctions.

I just want to try to look at sex differently and in a more healthy and balanced way. I want to rave about my orgasms. I want to share my concerns. I want to find out what is going on in the world and be able to comment. I want to know that I am normal.

Sex is erotic; funny; normal; desired; laborious; adventurous; satisfying; disappointing; wonderful; soul-enhancing; tedious; intimate; scary; juicy; releasing; relieving; squelchy; naughty; rude.......... all these things and more.

As long as it is agreeable to all parties involved I want to be able to talk about it, find out more, understand more and be happy!